Can Purell be used as lube?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
