i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
