Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Its about making memories worth repressing
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
