Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Liz is crying about burritos again.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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