I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
