Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
