Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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