theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize