I wanna bring you to show and tell
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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