her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
