i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
