Heybabeimwearingurpanties
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize