I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
