I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize