If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
