I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize