Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
my liver is dry heaving
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
