and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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