in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
