I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
