You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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