i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
