At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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