You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
