I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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