the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
