goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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