Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
A bitchslap is in order.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize