do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize