There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
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