just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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