my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
