Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
