we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
