I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
