Soap is not a condiment
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I can't put those talents on a resume
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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