She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
