watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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