So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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