Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
