Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
