a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
