Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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