Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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