I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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