When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
