I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
did i walk over a car last night?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
