just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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