How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
