last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
