Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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