just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
