Umm I'm too high to move.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Randomize
