doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Also, beer. Big fan.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize