Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
