I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
