her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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