I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize