I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
