I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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