I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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